Eye Yi Yi

The Baby

I can feel myself starting to get cranky. It's been exactly 7 days since I woke up with the sore throat and life has not treated me well since. I don't recall being this sick for this long but then again I can never find my van in the Wal-Mart parking lot or remember my last pap smear either so this probably isn't relevant.

I've been way too busy caring for the Munchkins. On the day after I posted this The Teenager's left eye began to swell alarmingly fast in the afternoon. I started her on the antibiotic eye drops that The Baby was already on having found another bottle from days gone by but not "expired."

The Teenager

Meanwhile I am becoming increasingly more impaired physically. Cough. Wheeze. Temperature. Trouble sleeping at night. Pure exhaustion from having no rest.

People ask well couldn't you get a sitter to help you?

Number one: I have missed yet another week of work and no work means no moola thus no sitter.


Number two: Can you name one person who would walk in to a house whose occupants greet them with swollen, purulent, dripping eyes and green goober snot-rockets flying across the living room?

People. Mother Theresa and Gandhi are gone. OK?

The cherry on the doodie cake was when The Baby pulled one of her all nighters' on Sunday waking up at 10:22 PM and playing until 7:00 AM.

"Mommy! Mommy!" Poke. Poke. Poke

"Mommy! Mommy! Tee hee hee hee." Poke. Poke. Poke.

"One. Two. Threeeee. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Niiiiiiiiine. Ten. Mommy! Mommy?"

Poke. Poke. Poke.

On the Fourth Of July I was struggling to get my billing complete and in to my boss via email. I noticed I was having a hard time seeing out of my left eye.

Oh. My. God. Noooooooooooooooooo....

I started my self on the antibiotic eye drops.

Yesterday, Iris arrived fresh form her vacation. Well not exactly fresh after spending her days off with her husband, The Beard, who was also sick. Talk about out of the frying pan into the fire.

I peeled out of the drive when Iris arrived and headed to the clinic where my beloved ARNP was not available. I got a super nice older doctor who wasn't as swift as my beloved ARNP. I was relating the exam details to Curly T later in the day telling her you could hear me wheezing two exam rooms away but he told me my lungs sounded "good." I pointed to my back where he listened to my lungs, informing her that he never even listened to the front of my chest.

"Did you tell him those were your kidneys he was listening to?" Curly T inquired.

He then suggested a pill that to my knowledge hasn't been used since the early 80's. To his defense, however, not in pediatrics anyway. I'm not crystal clear on adult usage. At this point I'm not crystal clear on anything.

He ends up giving me a big dose of antibiotic that even sends the pharmacists' radar blip blipety blipping. After assuring her I was not allergic to Penicillin I popped two in the parking lot and hoped for the best.

In the STD clinic we used to have a crash cart for times like this but I have to say that at this stage in my illness experience anaphylaxis would be a mercy killing.

And in all honesty I had to go easy on the doctor. You don't meet that many cute guys older than me who are still gainfully employed.

Last night....yes it goes on and on and on....The Teenager complained of bilateral earaches and The Baby had a rough night coughing up snot. This morning I loaded up the three mucouskateers and Iris into the mom mobile and met our pediatrician in her office who was in the throes of a severe lumbar strain. She hears me cough and slams on a face mask.

The Boy

"No offense but if I catch what you guys have with this back and start coughing..."

I hear you. I really do.