Apr 28, 2011

Trampoline Thursday

Beginning weight: 2 weeks ago: 138 1/2 lbs.

Last Thursdays weight: 137 lbs

Today's weight: 136 1/2

Total weight loss in 14 days: 2 lbs


Go Teenager Go!

Well Done Good And Faithful Servant

David Wilkerson , one of evangelical Christianity's most prominent voices, was killed in an east Texas car accident yesterday.

I will miss him. There was a time, however, when I couldn't stand him and actually walked out of one of his appearances in Tampa, Florida. Over the years we both tempered.

Wilkerson told it like it was. He never wanted to be "a prophet of doom" and lamented about this throughout his lifetime. He was faithful, however, in speaking the truth as he saw it and as he felt directed by his God.

The skinny, naive preacher was best known for his book, The Cross And The Switchblade which was made in to a pretty lame Pat Boone movie.


After the book hoopla died down Wilkerson continued to serve in the ministry his entire life.

There was never any scandal associated with him. He didn't frequent prostitutes on the sly. He wasn't a closet drinker. He didn't live in a 10.8 million dollar mansion, have a personal masseuse or cheat on his wife.
He didn't spend between $10,000. and $30,000. for tailored suits.

He NEVER asked for money for the ministry. Nor did he "give away" relics from the Holy Land or bookmarks or statues for a "donation" to his ministry. If it was God's ministry then God would provide.

Reverend Wilkerson
spent his lifetime working with drug addicts and in his later years widows and orphans.

Over the years he mellowed a lot but he never wavered from his Christian beliefs. A secular survey recently presented statistics to support that 90% of Christians surveyed lived no differently from those who consider themselves non-Christians with the exception of divorce and bankruptcy which was higher among the Christian population.

Reverend Wilkerson would have been amongst the 10%. He was different.

At 5:01 AM on Wednesday David Wilkerson sent the following e-mail out. At 1:00 PM he was dead.

"To those going through the valley and shadow of death, hear this word: Weeping will last through some dark, awful nights” and in that darkness you will soon hear the Father whisper, I am with you. I cannot tell you why right now, but one day it will all make sense. You will see it was all part of my plan. It was
no accident. It was no failure on your part. Hold fast. Let me embrace you in your hour of pain. Beloved, God has never failed to act but in goodness and love. When all means fail ”his love prevails. Hold fast to your faith. Stand fast in his Word."

Jeremiah 45:5 says "
I will give your life to you as a prize in all places, wherever you go."

For David this now includes, Heavenly places.

Well done, David!

Well done.

Apr 23, 2011

He Is Risen


Mark 16:1-8
When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices so that they might go to anoint Jesus' body. Very early on the first day of the week, just after sunrise, they were on their way to the tomb and they asked each other, "Who will roll the stone away from the entrance of the tomb?"

But when they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had been rolled away. As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed.

"Don't be alarmed," he said. "You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. But go, tell his disciples and Peter, 'He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you. "

The Teenager walks by pauses to listen and states, "Now that is beautiful."

I agree. It's one of my favorite songs written by Annie Herring in 1971.

This is also one of my favorite passages because of this: "But go, tell his disciples and Peter"

...and Peter...

Why did he specifically mention Peter? After all wasn't he also a disciple?

Could it have been that Peter had just denied Christ 3 times and was despondent because of his own weakness and act of betrayal? How could he have denied his dearest friend and teacher at his friends most horrific hour?

“And Peter remembered the word of Jesus, which said unto him, Before the cock crows, thou shalt deny me thrice. And he went out, and wept bitterly.

Bitter weeping. We've all been there. Some of us are there now.

Sometimes we forget about grace. Sometimes we forget about mercy. Sometimes we forget about the purity of Godly love directed towards us. Sometimes we need a special invitation to remind us.

Like Peter did.

Let the miracle of Easter Sunday remind us of these truths and quicken our hearts with joy.

Happy Easter dear friends!

Apr 17, 2011

Trampoline Thursday


Here's how we've "adjusted" our lifestyle in the past week since the arrival of our trampoline:

1.)
We drink one 8 oz glass of water before each meal. It's an old trick for dieters and has some validity. The Teenager needs extra water anyway because of the seizure medications she has to take. They are metabolized in the liver and not without major side effects but a necessity to prevent her grand mal seizures.

2.) I've stocked up again on Weight Watchers meals for those moments when I am crazy busy and tempted to drive through a fast food establishment. Someone complained about the sodium content of a Weight Watchers meal so I did a little research.

The teenagers favorite Happy Meal consists of a cheeseburger, small fries and 1% low fat chocolate milk. This equals: 1060 mg Sodium, 700 calories, 25 g fat,
9 g saturated fat, 1 g trans fat, 88 carbs, 31 g sugar

The Teenagers favorite Weight Watchers meal. This equals 700mg sodium, 270 calories, 12.5 g saturated fat, 0 trans fat, 35 carbs, and 8 g of sugar.

This may not be ideal but it is a better substitute to utilize when we are pressed for time and or low on energy. After all we are all over worked and over stressed in this society. I don't expect to juggle my brutal schedule
and prepare, cook and serve organic, low fat meals 3 times a day. I mean get real.

What infuriates me is that absolutely everything in our society's media blitzing is geared towards weight gain. Take those thousands of commercials enticing children with sugary cereals and fat laden fast food meals. If I remember correctly the average child sees 10,000 of them a year. When shown a picture of Jesus in the documentary, Super Size Me, not one 5 year old could identify Jesus.

When shown a picture of Ronald McDonald, however, all of the 5 year olds knew who he was, where he came from and where they had seen him.

Evil, evil clown.

And cost?

When you can fill your child's tummy up from the dollar menu and a local drive-thru for less than the price of one bunch of broccoli it's a no brainier for lower income families.

It's a crime perpetuated by greed. And you all know how I feel about food industry greed. GMO's. High Fructose corn syrup...yada...yada...yada...

Veering off my rant now to:

3.) The Teenager jumps on the mini trampoline before each meal. This takes tremendous discipline on my part as I am her head coach and cheerleader. Ideally you should jump 30 minutes a day but The Teenager has difficulty making it 5 minutes without tremendous persuasion and cheering. We break it down to 5 minutes before each meal as exercising before meals is a proven fat reducer. The five minutes is not a solid 5 minutes either as she does a lot of starts and stops and complaining.

"I'm tired!"

"I
can't do this!"

"My heart! I'm having a heart attack!""

"My Liver! My liver!"
Yeah. I'm fairly certain your liver is on your right side, sweetie not your left side.

On Sunday though I had to laugh out loud at one of her complaints.

"These things* are flapping like a couple of penguins!"

* Please don't ask what "these things" are.

Mental note: Buy some tight fitting sports bras at Wal-Mart next week.

This is my cue to chime in with what little enthusiasm i can muster while dinner is burning downstairs:

Everywhere you go-oh
People want to know-oh

Who you are

so I tell them
...
you are The Teenager,

The mighty, mighty Teenager
...
Jump!
Jump!
Jump!

We also throw in as many 5 minutes jump fests that we can during the day between meals.

Keep in mind the Teenager has kept the 10 lbs off that the local hospital nutritionist helped us lose for over one year but has never gone
beyond the 10 pound mark. The seizure medication induced lethargy is only partly to blame.

Ideal weight for The Teenagers height: 90lbs (the nutritionist and I both laughed ourselves silly over this number.)

Realistic target weight per pediatric nutritionist: 115lbs

Last Thursday's weight: 138 1/2 lbs.

Today's weight: 137 lbs

Total weight loss in 7 days: 1 1/2 lbs

Jump!

And while we're on Van Halen....how totally revolting is David Lee Roth in this video? He's like a cross between Rainbow Dash and Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs.




Buffalo Bill

David

I'm completely frightened.

Almost as frightened as i am of that evil, evil clown...

Dad Life



We all need to laugh more often. This will help.

A fine tribute to all of the dads out there.

Apr 15, 2011

Trampoline Thursday

Actually, it's Friday but I didn't feel well enough last night to put together the new trampoline or post. This afternoon I rallied from the bed, put The Teenagers trampoline together and she's in her upstairs room as we speak shaking the ceiling.

A clients mom recently purchased a trampoline after a bug much like I am experiencing when her doctor read her the riot act about losing weight for health reasons.

She informed me she had to buy a trampoline that held 300lbs. Yes, she is a tad
overweight.

Every time I go to her home I am shocked when she opens the front door to let me in.

In 2 weeks she lost 30lbs jumping 30 minutes a day although she had to rearrange her furniture. "I kept hitting my head on the shelf when I was jumping." She is also eating more fruits and vegetables but that's the extent of her exercise program.

The Teenager went from severe organic/non-organic failure to thrive combo as an infant and toddler to obesity when she hit the "tweens." She is only 4'8" so the poor child doesn't have much lee way. At 5"8" i can pack in a lot of Dunkin Donuts without showing it. At 4'8" it shows up immediately on The Teenager.

We've been working with a nutritionist and she has dropped 10lbs and kept it off for over a year. With the onset of seizures, however, and the anit-epileptic medication she has lost her desire to swim or exercise. For the first year after diagnosis she has been sleepy,lethargic and napping. The teenager has always been an individual who can't shed the pounds by diet alone. She has to exercise as well.

Throw in cerebral palsy, severe patella alta and flat feet and weight loss becomes even more complex.

Inspired by my clients mom I began researching the trampoline and found interesting articles like this one.

I found a trampoline superstore.

Yes, seriously that is one thing you can always count on in the USA. A superstore for everything.
The Genius found an on line coupon code that expired 12/10 but worked. We got a sweet deal on the trampoline..

Trampoline Thursday is going to be our online diary. Feel free to ignore Thursdays!

Today's weight at Publix: 138 1/2 lbs.



Get Angry. Please.




Born2fly is a worthwhile teaching project for young children all over the world and in the USA to help prevent them becoming victims of the sex trade industry. Yes, right here in the USA. It's the 3rd biggest industry in our country. And after all, where do most Americans go to access children for sex? Children as young as 4? Thailand? Russia? South America?

No. They go right here in the USA.

It's time to dig our heads out of the sand. Having a friend long ago who was sold at the age of 4 as a sex slave in Southeast Asia I've seen first hand the devastation it causes.

One woman said, "I don't want to know."

She will be held accountable. We all will if we do nothing.

The film sites Proverbs 24:11. It reads, "Rescue those who are unjustly sentenced to die; save them as they stagger to their death."

If nothing else pass this information regarding Born2fly along.

Visit this blog.

And go see this film if it premiers near you.

No child is safe. No, not even yours.








Apr 12, 2011

Seriously Sick



Last week I was fighting off a sinus infection. This week I am having trouble breathing.

In view of the large number of people who have died in my life lately from "flu" bugs I sought medical attention after 6 days instead of my usual 6 weeks.
Good thing I did as it has turned out to be bacterial and not viral. My upper airway had become edematous and painful. Antibiotics and a nice cough syrup with codeine were prescribed so I wouldn't do any further damage to my airway while hacking up chunks of lung.

Wheeeeee
eeeeeeeeeeee

I've spent the last two days sleeping in my "crib."

zzzzzzzzsnortzzzzzzzz


No work = no money. A colossal waste of time as I don't feel like sewing, crafting, or doing anything but sleeping.


Friends have been helping with the school run, and bringing food from afar. Thank you friends!

zzzzzzzsnortzzzzzzzzz

Today I ventured out briefly to pick The Boy up at school. Since I was early I stopped at a nearby thrift store and found this very old, chippy, pedestal mirror. One is never too sick to thrift.


Yes, those are roses from the garden. I love the way they are reflected in the mirror. Unfortunately, I think I did some serious damage to my camera when I dropped it last week. I'm not sure why this ONE photo turned out but none of the others did.

Which is why you are looking
...



at pictures from a recent trip to the zoo.
...



Where everyone seemed too tired to do much of anything....


about anything...




including The Teenager.


The End

Apr 10, 2011

A Quote That Tickled Me Pink.

Spoken reverently by The Boy just now...

"Mr. Bean is a great actor."

Move over Brando, Nicholson and Newman,

You've been replaced by The Bean.

Rowan Atkinson

Apr 8, 2011

It's The Little Socks That Spoil The Vine

All photos from Google Images


Socks. I hate them. Especially baby socks.

Yesterday it turned cool so I wore long slacks to work and socks with my clogs. Do you think I could find one matching pair of black socks anywhere in this house? I finally settled on a matching navy blue pair knowing that it is so dark in some of my clients homes...well...I can hardly find the client at times. At one house I stand perfectly still until they put on a light fearing that I will go head over heels over the sofa, baby, dog, whatever. Times are tough and many folk just do not use electricity for much of anything where I go.

Yesterday, however, there was enough light to illuminate the two holes in my glaringly navy socks against my black slacks. No surprise there.

It's a sock curse.

As you already know I did not use my IRS return for anything glamorous except the purple carpet and African braids for the Teenager. The rest went towards oil changes, paying off the car, stinking garbage disposals, bills and socks.

Boy Socks


Teenager Socks


Mom Socks

And those wretched, wretched baby socks.


For over one year I have had a wicker basket clogging up my living room full of socks. Dozens and dozens of socks. Socks with no matching sock because as we all know if we put 3 pairs of matching socks in our dryer only 3 un-matching socks come out. Desperate, single socks longing for their soul mate to come along. Wasn't it Erma Bombeck that told her children that the missing socks went to live with Jesus? This can't be right. I don't think Jesus even wore socks so why would He want them now?

Freud felt that "psychoanalysis is for hysterical pathological cases, not for silly rich women who should be learning how to darn socks." Being the unabashed cocaine proponent that he was I think he may have been too stoned to realize those hysterical, pathological cases were that way because they couldn't find their socks.

Once in a while you will find a mate stuck to the back of the sofa, in the Lego bin or static clinging to the giant dog butt as she goes galoomping along. Galoomping. Yes, it is a word because i just made it up.
Mostly, however, socks just sit in the laundry basket destined to be single.

Last week I picked up the basket and turned it upside down over the garbage can and threw them all out. It is a very freeing thing to do. Has it helped?

No.

Because all of the mates have turned up over night.

Where did they go? Here's what I think:


I never saw the movie Poltergeist but I'm pretty sure it was about missing socks wasn't it?.

Apr 5, 2011

Be Ye Thankful For The Toad Turds

On the way home from school today The Boy asks, "Would you be mad at me if I told you something?"

It depends on what you are about to say.


He weighs his options. Is it worth confession?

"I brought a toad to school today."

Mental note: Begin frisking child prior to drop off at school in the mornings again.

Where is the toad now?

"It's in the garden at school."

How did you transport the toad to school?

"I put it in my pocket. I was very careful when I sat down so i don't know how it got lose."

Mental note:
Be sure to pull uniform pants pockets and shake out toad turds. Remind self to remain thankful that they are only toad turds and not squashed toad entrails.

Did you get in trouble with Mrs NeedsToBeCanonized?

"No! She said it was ok to bring fogs, toads and furry little animals but no snakes or lizards because she had a lizard down her blouse once and it bit her."

Brrrrrr. I got the chills.

Mental note: Write Mrs. NeedsToBeCanonized a note informing her of the explosion of fruit rats in our neighborhood this year. She may want to revise her list of acceptable show and tell critters by removing "furry little animals."

We really don't want her canonized sooner than she should be.

Apr 3, 2011

April Come She Will


The kids played outdoors all day. Swinging. Smelling flowers. Running.

Watching the Monarch caterpillars munching on Milkweed. Fascinated.


Greedy grubs fighting over the last scraps of Milkweed and then weaving their green and gold pupa's like little Rumpelstiltskin's.


The Baby played under the jasmine arbor. Picking leaves and flowers and flinging them into the herb garden. I call this "pruning."


I found a chicken in my back yard and although it wasn't exactly what I long for in a chicken it was a lovely substitute.


The April breeze is soft and fragrant with China berry blossoms, and Grapefruit blossoms. I won't even attempt to describe it. I'm not a poet.

I was reminded of an old song. A beautiful song from Simon and Garfunkel.

Do you remember it?

Light My Fire



Feel free to play the music while reading this post. It adds to the ambiance.

A year or so ago Iris/Virus gave me a vintage Jim Morrison shirt to sell on e-bay. Shortly after she gave it to me it disappeared into the bowels of someone's closet.

Three days ago The Teenager walks past with the words, "Try To Set The Night On Fire" emblazoned along the back of her shirt. I was a little taken aback.

"Where did you find that shirt?" I asked.

"Isn't it cool? I love this shirt. Set the night on fire!" she whoops.

Two days ago she walks past with the shirt on again.

"Set the night on fire!" she laughs.

Today she takes her bath and comes out in the shirt. Again.

"You need to lose that shirt." I groan.

"
What? I LOVE this shirt!" In other words no way was she losing the shirt.

And i saw it very clearly at that moment. My lovely teenager who functions on the social level of a 5 or 6 year old was displaying signs of...gulp...
teenage rebellion!

I had to smile. If my mom was alive she would be laughing herself silly. She hated the Doors...The Beatles...The Rolling Stones...Frank Zappa...

My 92 year old dad who endured my teenage rebellious hippie days has a saying when special moments like this occur with any of my five children.

"I've waited a long time for this day," he smirks.

Popi, this moment is for you. You may not want to listen to the song, however. Just a little FYI.

Apr 2, 2011

Shinguardophobia

I received a call from a fellow adoptive mom who needed a break from one of her more challenging children. Her daughters name is Aziza. I handed my friend a copy of When Love Is Not Enough and she handed me Aziza.

For two solid days I've heard variations on the name Aziza from two of my charming children who have some serious "long term memory retrieval issues" especially if it's longer than five minutes.

The Baby, who does not have long term memory retrieval issues has been pointing to Aziza for two days asking, "what's that?" We'll work on manners later.

"Azalea, do you want to play hide and seek?"

"Akeelah! Let's swing!"

And my personal favorite while they were roasting marshmallows over the fire tonight from the teenager...

"Camellia, do you want another marshmallow?"

Camellia? How lovely! Remind me to name my next parakeet Camellia.

I'm concerned that tomorrow when we return Aziza she will no longer remember her own name.

Round about 9 pm listening to the echos of ...

"Aiesha! You're it!"

...I decided to bang my head against a wall.

Fortunately for me and unfortunately for The Baby our 10 year old neighbor who was sharing our cookout chose this time to step out of our pool clad in his unusual pool garb. A bathing suit and shin guards. Don't ask.

The Baby took one look at those shin guards and had a most bizarre meltdown. She went totally ballistic. Screaming and shaking violently. Pointing at the shin guards and climbing up my side clinging to my neck.

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Yes. The child who flings alien bugs at their owners ...

puts a 90lb dog in it's place daily... gets immunizations and lab work without even flinching....adores the explosions during the Indiana Jone's Epic Stunt Spectacular at Hollywood Studios...

Shin guards completely did her in. Two hours later she is still occluding my carotids and pointing out the window fearing the return of the neighbor and his evil shin guards.

I'm trying to be sympathetic. I realize what I saw coming out of the pool:

was obviously not what The Baby saw coming out of the pool:



I'm also a little disappointed as this means The Baby will not be playing special needs soccer with the rest of the gang. It also means I won't be able to bring her to special needs soccer to watch the rest of the gang due to the abundance of shin guards in one area. Can you see me explaining to the other parents during the disruption she will inevitably cause that it is because she has shinguardophobia?

I've had enough for one day. I'm going to bed.

Right after I tuck in The Boy, The Teenager, The Baby and Ikea.

Apr 1, 2011

West African Braids, Purple Carpet and Sping Break Numero Uno


Thanks to all of the wonderful friends and followers who wrote asking if I was still alive. I am.

Not sure why but I've been in a blogging slump. It happens to everyone I guess.Took this week off from work since the kids were on Spring Break only to discover that The Boy is not on spring break until April 21st. This turned out to be girls week at our home.

I will be forced to take another week off in April. Someone twist my arm.

Income tax return arrived minus a large chunk since The Teenagers birth mother claimed her. No, she hasn't been legally involved since 1997 but that hasn't stopped her from defrauding us on numerous occasions. Social security fraud. Medicaid fraud. You get the picture.

Is she in jail? No but I can guarantee you if you or I did such a thing we'd get a life sentence. I confronted her after the second or third time. "I would NEVER do that! That's why my mama is in jail."

hello

I called IRS when my e-file was rejected because "someone" had already claimed The Teenager. They stated they would pay both of us. In 2 months we will both get a letter in the mail telling us that one of us has been very naughty and we need to confess and pay back the moooola. And then in 4 months if no one confesses we'll get a letter asking us to prove who the legal mother is and then whoever isn't will have to pay back the money or suffer the consequences which include being banned from filing for 10 years. How many think the birth mother will still have any money left in four months? Can I see a show of hands? Anyone?

I hung up with IRS knowing why our country is in deep financial ruin.

Oh! I think I have the perfect solution, however! Let's just take money away from the poor, elderly and disabled and give the rest to crooks.

Never mind. That's already being done. Can anyone think of a better solution? I'm stumped.

I've been plotting for many moons regarding where my refund would go to.

I paid off my car. Had been doubling payments for 2 years at great sacrifice to get to this day. I'm happy this day arrived at long last.

We all got new underwear and socks.

The plumber came and fixed the garbage disposal which hasn't worked in 5 months.

The van got an oil change.

The Boy got new uniforms shirts.

We found West African Hair Braiders and spent 2 hours and 45 minutes getting a new do for The Teenager. It was a fabulous cultural experience complete with a 2 hour and 45 minutes marathon of the charming tv show, Cheaters and seven children who were on spring break and "working"with their moms. A darling little boy was riding his bike with training wheels through the small shop and crashing into the walls for one solid hour. I timed him. The week old baby pooped and graced us with an earthy aroma. For one hour. I timed the aroma. The odor of beans cooking made me homesick for Haiti along with the dialect that was heavy on the French.

Oh, ki jan mwen manke ou Ayiti. Oh, how I miss you Haiti.

The Teenager also got purple carpet. She wanted "big and bold" in her bedroom. She got big and bold in lime green and purple. We went yesterday during the tornadoes to chose brown carpet. And there it was...

The most fabulous shade of purple I have ever laid eyes on. Drool. Slobber.

"Honey would you rather have brown carpet or purple carpet in your room?" I asked coyly.

Purple won and was installed today. The carpet guys came down the stairs shaking their heads. "It's pretty bright up there."

No. It's "big , bold and beautiful." Just like The Teenager.

The Baby has been sick for weeks and missed one week of school. Made our second trip to the pediatricians yesterday only to discover her ears were bulging with fluid. Whatever bug she had she gave to me on Tuesday. Thanks for sharing, sweetie.

And speaking of bugs... The Boy has been up to his old tricks.



Three questions probably come to mind while viewing the above collage so I will answer them for you. 1.) Yes. That is a real bug. 2.) The torture device The Baby is strapped in to is called a "prone stander" and is used for non weight bearing children to be able to weight bear thus strengthening bones and keeping things in alignment. 3.) No, The baby was not afraid of the bug crawling on her chest. She picked it up and threw it at The Boy.

Don't mess with The Baby. The Baby has some serious attitude. Especially as she is weaning off of her Phenobarbital.


The Teenager has had an increase in seizures and is now on Lamictal at night and Zonegran during the day. It's not an exact science so we continue to grasp for the correct combination of anti-seizure medication.

Spring has sprung in our neighborhood.

Work is busy. After months of no referrals I have more than I can handle.

That about sums it up.

So how have you all been?