Oct 12, 2010

Put The Chicken Leg Down And Back Away Slowly

The Teenager and The Boy discuss today's events

The Teenager just walks past me and announces, "I'm taking a bath. I smell like a mule."

Perhaps it was from all of the crime fighting she has been doing lately?

Last week The Teenager and Iris/Virus went to get a manicure and afterward stopped by Iris's house only to find a truck backed into her driveway and two men helping themselves to her belongings. When she confronted them the older man informed her, "Carl sent us."

"Wrong answer," replied Virus. She dialed 911.

In the meantime The Teenager jumps out of the car and confronts the lookout. "Put that stuff back! That's not your stuff! "Iris said she was flapping around doing her "chicken dance" while confronting the robber. Apparently, she scared the bejeebies out of the lookout who began screaming for his partner, "Get in the truck! Get in the truck!" Off they sped. There was no tag on the truck. When I picked The Teenager up forensics was there dusting for prints and photographing tire tread. Very impressive.

Iris phoned me later that night to see if The Teenager was ok fearing she'd be traumatized for life. Once when they were out to lunch and left their table briefly to use the restroom a homeless couple stole the teenagers chicken right off her plate. When they returned from the restroom The Teenager was chicken-less. That was two years ago. It was not a pretty scene. The teenager is STILL ticked off.

Don't mess with The Teenagers food, honey. Food is serious business. Especially her fried chicken.

Regarding the robbery however, not a word from The Teenager. Iris commented before we hung up that if anyone could find the truck and the men it would be the teenager. Yep. I know that's right.

Today...one week later...Iris and The Teenager were coming out of the dollar store and who flies past them? Yes, this could only happen in our family.

"Iris! There's the truck!

Iris followed the truck while on the phone with the police and in minutes the guys were surrounded by 3 squad cars. One of the officers put Iris and The Teenager in the back of a squad car and drove past the two men who were handcuffed on the side of the road. They were able to positively identify them.

I still haven't heard many details about today's events from the Teenager but she did mention the chicken event of two years ago. It's fascinating what is deemed important in her world and what is not important in her world. Robbery? A ride in a real squad car? Whatever. But apparently something happened today involving a wind shield wiper and a Wal-Mart. I gave up my feeble attempt to decipher what that was all about when she summed it up, "but it all worked out and Wal-mart is a crap-hole anyway."

Crap-hole? nice

Both of the robbers are tucked safely in to their county jail bunks tonight in their nice orange pj's. They are career thieves with a long list of parole violations and may not be cruising around in their truck again for quite some time.

They have no idea how fortunate they were that there was no fried chicken involved in their violation of Iris's rights.


Michelle said...

She must have been talking about the PPark Wal-Mart.


Michelle: She was.

Beverly said...

I love the title of your post. Your life is interesting, that's for sure.

ANewKindOfPerfect said...

Wow! I'm glad they recognized the bad guys and they have been arrested. Way to go! I am laughing though, good thing they didn't come after her friend chicken or the Teenager might have attacked! :)


ANKOP: I have no doubt if there was fried chicken involved she would have taken them both down.

Michelle said...

Or ice cream, or spaghetti, or cheeseburgers, haha! County jail is a respite for these guys, compared to the wrath of the hungry teen!

Island Rider said...

You must write a book. So many interesting things happen in your life. What a great novel it would make. Becuase no one would believe it was non fiction! Tell the teenager I am keeping track of her virtues. Not only is she smart and beautiful, she is brave, too.

Dani said...

Keep on ROCKIN' girlfriend! lol

K....mom said...

made me smile and I needed that today :)

Zoey's mom said...

Loved this story.But then again I love all your stories.they make me smile when I need it the most.

And Christmas card photo shoots ... you have officially freaked me out!Gotta get going on that ...

Laura said...

The Teenager and Iris/Virus are Superheros! Wow!

I love all your stories, too!

Anonymous said...

Wow, what a story!

I have heard scary things about the PP Wal-Mart. The one near me is no great shakes either, but it's better than the PP.

Glad the bad guys' mojo wasn't working that day.

Anonymous said...

hhaaahahaaa... remember how sick and snotty she was when the chicken leg was stolen...LOL...one of my favorite quotes by her is "the cookies are on the fridge" HA... love her..cock-a-doodle-doooo
Curly Tk


Curl;y T I wonder what she will have in store for you on November 6th.; I can hardly wait!

Anonymous said...

meee tooo !!!!