Oct 31, 2010

I Hate Halloween

Photo from Google Images

I'm a Christmas person. I think I've mentioned that before along with the fact that I love roses. I suppose if I lived in a climate where we had a change of seasons I'd love to go all out and decorate with fall leaves and pumpkins and definitely gourds and get caught up in the autumnal red, brown and orangy theme.

But I don't live in a climate where there are any seasons. Our change of seasons are: Heatstroke Hot, Hot Flash Hot, Just Plain Hot and Unseasonably Warm. The leaves may fall off of a Frangipani or two but that's about the only thing that falls around here besides my drunken neighbor or me during a Meniere's attack.

The Genius LOVES Halloween. She generally takes charge of the children and enjoys every moment of the experience while I cower inside hiding from the trick or treaters. I start buying candy in July as I cannot afford it right before October 31st since our neighborhood is insane. My neighbor, Brasilia, counts the trick or treaters every year. One year we had over 400. Yes. That's a lot of candy.

This year I've purchased 5 bags of candy ahead of time and have eaten 5 bags of candy. It is Halloween day and I am candy-less. I'm in big trouble, people. And ten pounds heavier.

And then there's the costumes. whine

The Teenager is easy. Every year for 17 years you can count of her wanting to be something with wings. Ladybug. Butterfly. Fairy. Fairy Princess. Fairy Princess Butterfly. This year she's an Angel. Wings are easy to find. This is a good thing.

The baby could care less. This year I'm bobbie-pinning a veil and a flower to her head and calling her a Bride.

The Boy. Ah, The Boy. Remember when he wanted to be Jack Bauer? Yeah, well that has changed at least 10 times since that idea formulated in his ADHD brain circuitry. The Boy usually changes his mind 10 to 15 times and ends up wearing the same costume as last year which in this case is a policeman.

I love the idea of him pretending to be a law enforcement officer. Such a good role model to emulate! It does have it's draw backs, however. Like this which I discovered last evening:


And him asking me in a very loud voice in the grocery store, "Mom. when we get home will you handcuff me?"
cringe

Some people like my childhood friend, Haggie Maggie like the spooky aspect of Halloween. Here she is below in one of her many scary persona's. She is the local hag at a big seafood festival in town every October.
Note the Spanish Moss which I am always compelled to point out is neither Spanish or a moss.

Boo!

You want scary? Forget Halloween. My house is scary 365 days a year. Save the haunted house ticket price and come to my house for a day. I'll give you scary. How about you wake up with this crawling on your face?

Or this:

Or this:

Or this:


And even this can be scary. Especially when his proboscis is stuck up your nostril.

You know i could go on and on with the photos but I have to go buy candy now. As I'm typing this, however, as if on cue, The Boy comes inside wild with excitement, "Look what I found in the gazebo! Look!" I look ...and look...but I can't see anything. Until it hops three feet up into the air off of The Boy's head scaring the pee right out of me:


SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Happy Halloween, everyone!

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6 comments:

denimflyz said...

What a Hoot, I love your house being scary 365 days a year. I bet you could write a book and make some extra money so you can have an even more scary-er house! LOL
Love your photos, made my day.

Regards,

Kathleen Scott said...

I'll take the Boy's contributions any day. What a fabulous moth! And I loved the green beetle. Plus, who can resist such a lovable frog? OK, I'll admit that although I'm not afraid of snakes, I wouldn't want to have one in the house. Maybe you need a cat to go with your dog & kids? Cats are good at routing bugs and snakes.

Some folks hate Halloween. But ever since the night I danced until dawn as Carmen Miranda on the streets of Key West at Fantasy Fest, I've loved October 31st. Any holiday that gives you an excuse to laugh and dance into dawn gets my vote.

I was sorry to catch your inference about Muniere's. The reference was funny (you and the drunk neighbor) but vertigo is a curse and I'm sorry to hear you have to manage it. Hoping your body somehow restores itself so you're free.

ANewKindOfPerfect said...

What a funny post. I love reading what you write. :) I'm going to take a guess, do you live in FL?

SECRET PEPPER PERSON: said...

ANKOP: You got it!

SECRET PEPPER PERSON: said...

KS: Girl if I could dance on the streets of Key West I would LOVE Halloween.

A.M. Mama said...

Hilarious, hilarious, hilarious! Glad that Trick or Treat-ing ended up being "not so bad" after all!