Jul 7, 2010
-Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare.
-I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job.
-Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
-I am not allowed to sing, dance, laugh or wear short skirts. Having a teenage daughter is like living with the Taliban Author Kathy Lette
-Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers. Socrates
-The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet. Bill Cosby
-We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
-Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going. Phyllis Diller
-No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior and I'm not talking about the kids. Bill Cosby
-A child is a curly dimpled lunatic.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
-A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.
-Mothers are all slightly insane. J.D. Salinger
-If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? Milton Berle
-You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. Franklin P. Jones
-When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. Erma Bombeck
Feel better? I know I do.
Posted by SECRET PEPPER PERSON: at Wednesday, July 07, 2010