Apr 30, 2010

Dump Mulch Therapy

HATE this time of month. No, not that...I'm 57 years old. That's long gone. (Can I get a big Thank you, Jesus?) It's billing time where I turn in my client hours, mileage and consultations. Two new forms this month and I have had enough trouble with the old ones because I don't know Excel and no, I don't want to take an Excel class. As dyslexic as I am the only thing I would get out of an Excel class would be free coffee and stale donuts. I also have a new "fill-able consult form" that we are to do on the computer now. Nice. I was excited! Unfortunately, when I sat down to do it last night I could not get it to work. My cohorts credentials are way too long and by the time I get to the "SLP" part of her numerous accolades all the margins shift and it's a disaster. I e-mail the genius who teaches computer classes and she says, "Whoever set this one up didn't know what they were doing." That makes two of us, I guess. So I email my boss who said she'd get with me later. I'm sure she's sick of me by now. Anyway, in tears as usual, I had to get away from it all and piled the kids in to the car and headed to the dump for some mulch therapy. There is nothing like a steaming pile of dump mulch to cheer me up. Much better than a steaming pile of horse poo because dump mulch doesn't smell and there are no flies involved. Some gardeners (like me) love the free stuff. Some are highly insulted by it. I've had debates with other gardeners who called it nasty, ground up garbage. Not true! Although, as God is my witness, I did find a blue incontinent pad in a pile of dump mulch once. Hey! Who needs Milorganite when you have free, re-cylcled chux? For those of you who do not know that Milorganite is re-cycled human sewage sludge used as fertilizer go to their web site at http://www.milorganite.com/home/ and watch their awesome video about how it is made. (You had me at "microbial stew.") Yeah, ok once in a while you run into some wire, maybe a piece of plastic, screws, shoes. So pick it out and get on with your life! In my state we don't have soil. We have sand. Unless you amend that sand you might as well just go to the nearest beach and plant your vegies by the seaside. Add dump mulch year after year and the first visitors you will have are earthworms. The plants LOVE it. Look at those tomatoes above and tell me they are not lovin' it. Someone told me that was because the stuff (not the word he used) was radioactive. Yeah you go on now SNOOT DAWG and buy your high falootin store bought stuff. I'm going to the dump...to the dump...to the dump, dump, dump!

1 comment:

Michelle said...

I stand by my comment. People who don't know what they're doing with Microsoft products should never give instructions to others.

They might *think* they were doing you all a favor, but in fact made it worse for you.