The Secret Pepper Society: Trampoline Thursday

Apr 17, 2011

Trampoline Thursday

Here's how we've "adjusted" our lifestyle in the past week since the arrival of our trampoline:

1.) We drink one 8 oz glass of water before each meal. It's an old trick for dieters and has some validity. The Teenager needs extra water anyway because of the seizure medications she has to take. They are metabolized in the liver and not without major side effects but a necessity to prevent her grand mal seizures.

2.) I've stocked up again on Weight Watchers meals for those moments when I am crazy busy and tempted to drive through a fast food establishment. Someone complained about the sodium content of a Weight Watchers meal so I did a little research.

The teenagers favorite Happy Meal consists of a cheeseburger, small fries and 1% low fat chocolate milk. This equals: 1060 mg Sodium, 700 calories, 25 g fat,
9 g saturated fat, 1 g trans fat, 88 carbs, 31 g sugar

The Teenagers favorite Weight Watchers meal. This equals 700mg sodium, 270 calories, 12.5 g saturated fat, 0 trans fat, 35 carbs, and 8 g of sugar.

This may not be ideal but it is a better substitute to utilize when we are pressed for time and or low on energy. After all we are all over worked and over stressed in this society. I don't expect to juggle my brutal schedule and prepare, cook and serve organic, low fat meals 3 times a day. I mean get real.

What infuriates me is that absolutely everything in our society's media blitzing is geared towards weight gain. Take those thousands of commercials enticing children with sugary cereals and fat laden fast food meals. If I remember correctly the average child sees 10,000 of them a year. When shown a picture of Jesus in the documentary, Super Size Me, not one 5 year old could identify Jesus.

When shown a picture of Ronald McDonald, however, all of the 5 year olds knew who he was, where he came from and where they had seen him.

Evil, evil clown.

And cost?

When you can fill your child's tummy up from the dollar menu and a local drive-thru for less than the price of one bunch of broccoli it's a no brainier for lower income families.

It's a crime perpetuated by greed. And you all know how I feel about food industry greed. GMO's. High Fructose corn syrup...yada...yada...yada...

Veering off my rant now to:

3.) The Teenager jumps on the mini trampoline before each meal. This takes tremendous discipline on my part as I am her head coach and cheerleader. Ideally you should jump 30 minutes a day but The Teenager has difficulty making it 5 minutes without tremendous persuasion and cheering. We break it down to 5 minutes before each meal as exercising before meals is a proven fat reducer. The five minutes is not a solid 5 minutes either as she does a lot of starts and stops and complaining.

"I'm tired!"

"I can't do this!"

"My heart! I'm having a heart attack!""

"My Liver! My liver!" Yeah. I'm fairly certain your liver is on your right side, sweetie not your left side.

On Sunday though I had to laugh out loud at one of her complaints.

"These things* are flapping like a couple of penguins!"

* Please don't ask what "these things" are.

Mental note: Buy some tight fitting sports bras at Wal-Mart next week.

This is my cue to chime in with what little enthusiasm i can muster while dinner is burning downstairs:

Everywhere you go-oh
People want to know-oh
Who you are
so I tell them...
you are The Teenager,
The mighty, mighty Teenager...
Jump!
Jump!
Jump!

We also throw in as many 5 minutes jump fests that we can during the day between meals.

Keep in mind the Teenager has kept the 10 lbs off that the local hospital nutritionist helped us lose for over one year but has never gone beyond the 10 pound mark. The seizure medication induced lethargy is only partly to blame.

Ideal weight for The Teenagers height: 90lbs (the nutritionist and I both laughed ourselves silly over this number.)

Realistic target weight per pediatric nutritionist: 115lbs

Last Thursday's weight: 138 1/2 lbs.

Today's weight: 137 lbs

Total weight loss in 7 days: 1 1/2 lbs

Jump!

And while we're on Van Halen....how totally revolting is David Lee Roth in this video? He's like a cross between Rainbow Dash and Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs.

Buffalo Bill

David

I'm completely frightened.

Almost as frightened as i am of that evil, evil clown...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...: From Wikipedia

A system of sugar tariffs and sugar quotas imposed in 1977 in the United States significantly increased the cost of imported sugar and U.S. producers sought cheaper sources. High-fructose corn syrup, derived from corn, is more economical because the domestic U.S. and Canadian prices of sugar are twice the global price and the price of corn is kept low through government subsidies paid to growers.

Nice to know that once again, people get the shaft from large corporations.; April 21, 2011 at 7:25 PM
Kathleen Scott said...: What a great program for The Teenager--and everyone else! I'm going to adopt the glass-of-water-before-dinner strategy. Like the idea of the trampoline too. Nothing seems as hard when it's only 10 minutes.; April 25, 2011 at 1:27 PM

The Artist

The Artist can be seen in the yearly dance calendars, Breaking Bounds, by photographer Lois Greenfiled throughout the years.The artistically gifted second daughter who graduated from a very expensive art college in Philadelphia is one of those annoying people who can do all things artsy. Dance. Sing. Make jewelry. Photography. A genetic descendant of St. Francis of Assisi, this "sister moon" is called "the dog whisperer" behind her back by the SPP's posse. She is currently involved in animal rescue and is usually tooling around the south in her VW transporting unfortunate animals to their new homes. As a child she ate Barbie doll toes. I spent years thinking the hamster did it until The Genius set me straight.

The Teenager

The teenager became part of the family in 1994. She was born with hypoplasia of the cerebellum. As a result she has cerebral palsy. She was diagnosed with developmental delays early on and in later years has developed glaucoma and epilepsy. She was not supposed to be able to walk, talk or use her upper extremeties well. No one shared this information with her. She began walking wihout assistance at age 6. She began writing at the age of 13. After 10 years in book one of Hooked on Phonics she now reads well. She enjoys music, dancing, soccer, and her dvd collection. She loves light bulbs, cracks in windows and windshield wipers. The teenager comes up with the most interesting statements. They are rarely politically correct.

The Boy

The boy became a part of the family in 2000. He has a rare genetic disorder called Osteogenesis Imperfecta type 3. He has severe dyslexia and ADHD. The boy was not expected to survive per his geneticist and pulmonologist. No one shared this information with the boy. The boy is Evel Knievel in a Humpty Dumpty body. He loves monster trucks, cars of all kinds especially vintage and critters. The boy could not understand why I was upset with him when I discovered a live snake in his top bunk becasue it was " not poisonous." Don't ever say to the Secret Pepper Person that boys are easier than girls. I will hurt you.

The Baby

The baby became a member of the family in 2007. She was rescued by a paramedic who found her dead in the amniotic sac in a hallway. For those of you who find this offensive please get a life. The baby should be in a vegetative state from the estimated 10 minutes of cerebral anoxia. No one informed her of that. The baby is the happiest child I have ever known and is seriously nosey. She has cerebral palsy and seizures but neither interfere with her quality of life. She signs and has just begun to talk. Even when she is 30 she will be referred to as the "baby" as she is the omega child. The baby loves french fries,music, remote control cars and soft blankets. She hates peaches.

The Dog

The most recent addition to the posse came to us from Great Pyrenes Rescue. Vanna White had lived in several homes before ours and the day we met her she was leaving for yet another adoptive placement. The adoption fell through after 2 weeks as, "there was still too much puppy in her." What they really meant to say is that she likes to pee on furniture. Vanna is a herd protector by nature who is strong enough to take on a bear but becomes emotionally attached to her herd animals. This is a perfect fit for our family. She is very protective of the baby and sleeps by her crib. She has a disctinct "boy bark" which alerts me to the fact that the boy is outside doing stunts not wearing his helmet. Yes, Vanna is that intelligent. Vanna loves other dogs, digging, long walks, chicken and peeing on the sofa. She hates the rain.

The Cat

The cat showed up in our backyard about 14 years ago. No one knows where he came from or how old he was. Every time you approached him he would drop to the ground and roll, thus the name, "Roller." Once we determined that Roller wasn't rabid we decided to make him a permanent member of the family. He grudgingly obliged. Roller had some "adjustment issues" and our kind and gentle Hindu vet informed me he thought Roller needed some help "finding his place in the family" and put Roller on Elavil. In other words, the cat was seriously psycho. Roller's issues have mellowed over the years but if there are 14 people in my living room he will stalk the one person who hates cats. He is an accomplished hunter and likes to leave bloodied fruit rats on the door mat or if he's mad at me on my bed. After the last rat on the bed the cat door was nailed shut. Roller likes freedom, two story houses, rats and chocolate Ensure Plus. He hates the dog, the kids and the 4th of July.

Iris aka Virus

Iris has been with the family for almost 7 years and is the teenagers' respite worker/personal care assistant. Iris looks like a Bavarian milkmaid who should be clad in a dirndldress or lederhose. A cross between Heidi Klum and Gretel complete with culry blonde hair and rosy complexion. Iris, however, has an alter ego lovingly referred to as Virus. Virus likes the color black, sparkly clothes and metal bands. She met her husband, "the beard" at Livestock. 09 and he proposed at Livestock 12.They were married and went to a Great White concert after the ceremony. They have two model beautiful children which dispels the myth that pretty people have ugly children. Virus loves Ozzie Osborne, Motley Crue, Kiss, and Queensryche and has a Queensryche tattoo under the lederhose. If you look up Iris/Virus in Roget's Thesaurus you will find synonyms such as, "loyal, faithful, honest, kind, and long-suffering." Iris has a mental list of places she can never go to again because of the teenagers behavior. Virus doesn't care. Iris would like to have dinner with Ozzie Osborne before she dies but feels she needs an interpreter. I suggested the teenager. She hates REM and people who wear pajamas in public. Iris is the only person I would trust my children with and not be concerend about the outcome. For Iris or the children.

Documentary Diary

-Prodigal Sons
-Following Sean
-Buck
-A Man Named Pearl
-Heidi Fleiss: Hollywood Madam
-Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead
-The Dancing Boys Of Afghanistan
-Van Gogh: Brush With Genius
-The Loss Of Nameless Things
-Super Size Me
-The Last Word
-The Real Dirt On Farmer John
-Hiroshima
-Skid Row
-King Corn
-The Future Of Food
-Wal-Mart The High Cost Of Low Price
-Food, Inc.
-The Cats Of Mirikitani
-Into The Arms Of Strangers
-Something Within Me
-Born Rich
-Waiting For Armageddon
-It Might Get Loud
-Cocaine Cowboys
-After Innocence
-Radio Bikini
-Girl 27
-I Have Never Forgotten You
-Commune
-Forgiving Dr. Mengele
-Hiding And Seeking
-The Garden
-Food Matters