Aug 22, 2011

The Magic School Bus

School started today.It was the happiest day of my life. I love my children but after this summer I was seriously thinking about becoming an alcoholic.

Remember last year and 25 days before we got a school bus for The Baby? Well, this year we got one on the first day of school!

The FIRST day!

Of course it went down the wrong side of the street and parked two houses down. Call me smarty smarty because I just knew that bus down yonder parked at the wrong house had to be our bus so I went screeeeeeing out the front door waving my old lady dingle dangle arms in the air.

A faceless voice out a small window yelled at me, "The Baby?"


"We'll be right back. We went the wrong way."

As my 86 year old mother used to say before she passed away, "No sh*t, Sherlock."

Eventually the bus weaved it's way through the maze of my neighborhood landing on the correct side of the street to lower the wheel chair lift AND in front of our house. We put the baby on the wheel chair lift and she jerk, jerk, jerked up.

And then jerk jerk jerked down.

And then up up up.

And then down down down.

And then up up up.

Seems the driver couldn't get the lift level with the door.

The Baby looked a little worried now so I soothed her with my
fakest biggest I'm-not- worried-look-at-mommy-smile informing her that this experience was better and bumpier than a Disney World ride.

And no admission fee!

Finally level the driver pushed the button to release the flap blocking the bus entrance so we could roll her back into the bus and the awaiting aide.

It didn't work so he pushed the remote button again.

And again

And again.

After about 10 to 12 button pushes he reached over and flicked it with his finger and the flap fell over like a piece of flimsy cardboard. I was starting to have some concerns...

Thinking it was over I go inside to finish getting ready for work and get The Boy up. I'm sipping my coffee when I notice the bus is still in my front yard. I look at the clock. It's been there 20 minutes. It looks like the LA freeway in front of and behind the bus from cars waiting.

I know my neighbors seriously hate me by now.

I finally go outside when I see the bus driver get out of the bus again. An alarm is ringing. He explains that he can't get the door to latch. You know, the door The Baby sits next to.

The alarm goes ding ding ding diiiiiinnnngggggg as he fiddle faddles with the door.



As always I'll have to tough this one out un-medicated and pray I don't have a stroke in the meantime.

He finally gets the door latched so I go indoors.

And then he sits grinding gears for five minutes in front of my house.

Did it get better? No.

The bus was 40 minutes late in the afternoon. It arrived at 2:40 pm. School is over at 1:30 pm. The Boy's school is in another area of town and gets out at 2:30 pm. I had promised to pick up Mrs. M's daughter as well as Mrs. M is swamped with appointments.

After Iris rescued all of us Mrs. M and I sat across from each other in my living room.

"What a day," she sighs.

I didn't even have to ask. I figured if it was anything like mine we were blessed to be cerebrovascular accident free and still able to communicate with each other over our bottled water without drooling.
So how was your day?


Kathleen Scott said...

Oh man. Your stories are proof of the theory that if it can happen, it will.

Hope they get a real bus-driver tomorrow.

Lilith said...

I must say I don't miss school buses, etc.

Hope tomorrow is better.

Anonymous said...

Haha! Typical! I started back to work today after years off having babies. Super stressful shuffling my own small kids all over since preschool hasn't started yet. I got to work and am supposed to be teaching 2 computer labs at local college and was assigned rooms with no computers. That was fun. Developmental students whose only questions were to ask if they could leave early. My 2 yr old has started appearing in my room 5am saying, "hey dere mama!" and is then up for the day. Crazy life! Oh, and my trial for divorce (after over 2 yrs) is next week!!!
As always, love the blog!!
Jennifer in fl


Jennifer: EEEEEEEK!

Anonymous said...

It is amazing we don't start everyday off with a drink. Today was Boss Man's second day and we started off with a huge tantrum. Throwing LARGE objects and had to be restrained. He was late for school. Thank heaven the teachers did not say one word about us being late or I would have had a breakdown. All of this after yesterday's fun trip to Urology where he refused to cooperate. I had to hold him down while the nurse removed his shorts so he could be examined. Now he will need day surgery and I can't imagine how we will get through that.

Mrs. M

Big Daddy Dr. Weeds said...

WoW!!! , and I thought my Monday was bad. My youngest son known as "B*tt Haed" still living at home,I don't know came why. Met me at the door Mon. am as I came home form work at 8 am tho tell me that his little girl was in the bedroom fed ,chainged and watching tv ,mom would pick her up around noon well at three I finally got someone to answer the phone. I took her home at 3:30 because quote "we ain't got no transpotaton"or what ever I finally got an hour before leaving for work. I think you had it worse than I did , you can't kick them out or move during the day,which I have thought of. I will have a martini for all of you today you deserve it.I hope I don't fall down. I' going back to Herbal.


Mrs. M. Thinking of you. The Baby has been screeching for 2 hours now because she is so exhausted from school. Please pass the Rolaids.

Big Daddy: I laughed...really loudly and out loud your comment.

Island Rider said...

I thought Mrs. M. was talking about my boss at first. Work has been hell, but I think it is better than having to get the kids to school in the morning. I said to my husband last weekend, "Remember how awful this time of year used to be. Remember, how hard it was to get youngest son to school and how much he hated it and how he took it out on us?" Husband said, "I chose not to remember." Here's to not remembering however you chose to medicate!

Mama Melissa said... i would have been afraid of that contraption, too!!!