Day 3 of boys infusion. Be at the hospital at 8:00 am. Get up at 5:30 am. Feed, potty, water/dog cat. Make coffee. Blessed caffeine. Wake up boy, teen. Baby awake already. Baby always awake. Feed, water,
20 minutes late today. Have to frisk the boy in parking garage. Yesterday he brought a fluorescent green beetle in his pocket to the hospital sending one of the nurses screaming. Better than the garden snake of days past but infusion nurses don't like beetles or snakes. Why, the boy asks? No time to explain knowing he could not process the explanation any way. I'm conserving my energy today. Notice I said "could not" not "would not" process. Big City doctor who is working with the boys severe leaning disorders has finally
Make it in to the infusion room. BLESSED CHAIR! I'm so happy to sit I could cry tears of joy. Open cooler to get teenager started on water. Yogurt has exploded. So much for my breakfast. Kids had bacon, eggs and waffles but no time to feed my face. Pink mess everywhere. Clean up mess. Kids get caught up on Nick and Disney channels since we don't have cable at home. Chat with infusion buddies we've known for 7 years. Have made many close friends over the years thanks to the long, tedious infusion hours we've logged in since 2000. Time to catch up on children. Grandchildren. Jobs.
Infusion hours tick by slowly. Plenty of time to emerse my self in some "light"reading if i can just...stay...awake... Up until midnight chatting with a new friend from rural deep south last night. Lately, I've been obsessed with six degrees of separation and divine appointments and how closely related we all are at any given moment. Last nights chat case in point. Friend in rural Bible belt goes to the mall. Meets helpful employee. Runs into helpful employee now and then. Hears helpful employee is a foster/adoptive parent. Having difficulty. Friend gives helpful employee my phone number after clearing it with me. We talk by phone several times. Connect on Facebook. Wonderful black foster family who love their children and have an adopted son with attachment issues. School wants to put the 6 year old in their tiny county's "Alternative School." I look it up on the web. Looks like gray prison portables. Placing a 6 year old with teenage juvenile delinquents does not seem like a brilliant idea not to mention the obvious that the root issues aren't being addressed. Thank God this child has excellent advocates in his intelligent, caring adoptive mom and dad. So many do not. I re-play this conversation over and over with adoptive parents and parents of special needs children all over the U.S. Getting an education in under staffed, under funded schools who are inundated with drug exposed, alcohol exposed, neglected, abused and medically complex children is growing in difficulty especially in states where my new friend lives. The state is poor. The average IQ is 93.3. Now if they lived in Vermont or Connecticut...
The book I'm reading, The Explosive Child by Ross W. Greene, Ph.D is one of the best books I've come across. Love this man's approach. Executive Skills. Language Processing Skills. Emotion Regulation Skills. Cognitive Flexibility Skills. Social Skills. So many adoptive/foster children so lacking in some or all of these skills. Whether they are 6 days or 16 years old at time of adoption there are always hidden enemies waiting to sabotage the placement. Enemies like pre-natal drug exposures, familial pre-dispositions, genetic abnormalities, and rejection issues that all adoptee's face regarding their birth parents to one degree or another no matter how stable and loving their adoptive home is. I cringe when I hear professionals in "placement" positions make statements like: "She had one visit with her prospective adoptive parents and was already calling them mommy and daddy. Isn't that wonderful?" No, it's called Reactive Attachment Disorder. Ever heard of it? or: "He has such beautiful blue eyes. He'll be adopted in no time." Like this is the issue? And my favorite: "It is a match made in heaven. It was love at first sight." I hope you have the heavenly realms on speed dial. You gonna need it bubba.
If you're thinking about adopting, especially an older child, you should probably do a little research before you dive in:
Big Mama Hollers
Never A Dull Moment
The Accidental Mommy
Wait a minute. What's that beeping noise? WOO HOOO! Infusion complete leaving me 4 months to get in shape for the next 3 day marathon. Maybe I can finish my book then! It seems to be the only time I am able to sit down for any length of time.