It's Official. The World Has Gone Completely Mad.

Amish Arrested!

Seriously? The Amish attacking other Amish with scissors and battery powered hair clippers? Didn't their mothers ever teach them not to run with break and enter with scissors?

And assault with a battery powered hair clipper? Assault aside, are the Amish even allowed to use batteries? Just asking.

Is it me or do the above perps really look Amish to you?

Allegedly, one has had a previous brush with law enforcement for sexual contact with a minor. Care to guess which one by looking at their mug shots? I find it difficult to decide since they all look like Charles Manson wannabe's. And don't let that bowl cut on the right fool you. He's probably snortin' crushed Vicodin behind the haystack before he sets it on fire morphing old MacDonald has a farm into the MacDonald Triad.

I don't mean to be critical but while we're on the subject nothing says kissin cousins like the photos above either. The fact that 17 out of the 18 involved hair trimming, beard snatching families are "related" comes as no surprise when you look at those mug shots. Can first cousins marry in Ohio? How about siblings?

"Rachel called, Josiah. She told us to bolt the barn door and charge up the taser. We need to throw down them gangbanger foo's before they clip us tonight."

And what about these eight arrested in Kentucky for failure to affix those bright orange triangles to the back of their horse drawn buggy's because they violate their modesty codes. I know. I agree. Orange is for inmates and hookers...

but guys! What about those hairdos? Are perky flips modest? Really?

You want to talk perky flip? Look at me in 8th grade.

I don't know why this whole Amish thing has done me in today. Maybe it's because I'm always threatening to run away and become Amish. Maybe it's because I think they have the most wonderful, healthy life styles.

Maybe it's because if you can't trust the Amish not to scalp you who can you trust?