Sep 7, 2011

Would The Real Rose Stewart Please Step Forward?

Or in our case Rose Stewart

Yesterday my cellphone rang and as usual I couldn't find it. When I finally retrieved it it was from Johnny at the Social Security office.

"Hello Mrs. Stewart. This is Johnny at Social Security and I had a few more questions to ask you about The Teenager."

'NOOOOOOOOOOO!" I shrieked out loud.

I couldn't believe I missed the call knowing full well how difficult it would be to reach him. Ever actually try to call your local Social Security office?

Also I couldn't believe he called me Mrs. Stewart. Why you ask?

That's not my name. Not even close.

That has NEVER been my name.

That is not The Teenagers name and never has been.

Now. Did you really need to ask?

On a positive note, however, I'm getting really excited regarding The Boy and his severe dyslexia! Perhaps one day he too can be a Social Security clerk!

R-O-S-E! That spells GRACE!

I immediately phoned back but received a message that the office was closed. Since Johnny (who wanted to ask me a few more questions) didn't leave his extension it was impossible to "just ask for Johnny" when the operator apparently doesn't answer after 3 PM

It was 3:10 PM

I called several times today and finally got through to Johnny who thanked me for calling him back so promptly. If he only knew.

He wanted to know what grade The Teenager completed.

Now there's a can of worms.

How do you assess "grade level completed" with an IQ of 46, a pre-k math level and a reading level of grade 2.9 over all.

We settled on second grade as Johnny was determined to get a grade "completed" out of me.

And then he starts..."Ok so if she is 18 now and she completed the second grade that would be the year 2000?'

Seriously? What don't you understand about an IQ of 46, Johnny?

Kinda reminded me of one my favorite movies, The Princess Bride and Miracle Max...

Max: Have fun stormin' da castle.
Valerie: Think it'll work?

Max: It would take a miracle.

We have 120 days to see if we successfully stormed da Social Security castle.

You'll be the first to know.


Anonymous said...

Mrs. Stewert you always make me laugh! Thank you.
Mrs. M

Elizabeth said...

I'm speechless, as usual.



Keep us posted.

Island Rider said...


B.D.D.W. said...

Don't you just love your tax dollars at work for you . Where else could you get this kind of response to your problem. I was dumbfounded yesterday when you related this story to me now I know you were serious. Remember I can legally carry now.I think with our goverment your problem may be a very uphill battle. I hope not.Good luck my prayers are with you Mrs. Stewert,where ever you are.Call me to B@tch if you want to.

Kathleen Scott said...

Fingers crossed for you!

Melinda said...

Is it possible to get this blog to President Obama's desk? what the H**L is wrong with Johnny and his coworkers??? And why is everything related to federal offices so backwards?