Coffee Snot and Crushed Livers

It's one of those weeks where try as I might to be civil, i can't relate to married friends who's relationship is falling apart because the husband leaves his dirty underwear on the floor. I mean I have real problems. On Sunday night i stepped in the bed of a remote controlled Hummer left on the floor and nearly skated through the sliding glass door. On Monday and Tuesday I fell so ill with a sinus infection it took every ounce of strength I had in me to show up at work. Wednesday the baby woke up at 3:44 am and would not go back to sleep. She lay down next to me on the sofa and poked me in the eyes and mouth until the alarm went off at 6AM and we headed off to the local children's hospital for day one of the boy's infusion for his bone disease. Last night the babe woke up at 1:30 am and sang until the alarm went off at 6:00 am. This morning, after blowing an alien embryo out of my right nostril, I got Beyonce Jr. on the school bus, my teen ready for the sitter and my son to the hospital for day two of his 3 day infusion. Up all night with the wee songstress, suffering with a terrible sore throat and up twice to flush the boy's IV left me exhausted this morning so I curled up with him in the nifty new remote controlled infusion chair with visions of a nice, long, nap in my head. The new infusion chairs ascend to nose bleed heights and descend into the bowels of hospital hell. They pitch you forward so efficiently i suspect they use these chairs to train test pilots in the art of emergency cock pit ejection. Obviously, however, whoever purchased these chairs for the new pediatric facility had never heard the term ADHD before. When I woke suddenly with hospital cafeteria coffee dripping out of my nostrils because my feet were 5 feet higher than my head I realized a nap was not in my near future.The rest of the day I sat writing bad haiku on the back of yesterdays hospital discharge instruction sheet and watching Mall Cop for the 3rd time only fast forwarded so that everyone sounded like chipmunks. Obviously the TV planner had not heard of ADHD either. In preparation for tomorrow I have devised a plan B for the tiny songstress who is coughing just in case she can not go to school in the morning because I have to be at the hospital for my teens MRI of the brain to follow up on the bad seizure she had 2 days after Christmas. Since she has no history of seizure disorder I will be thankful if the MRI confirms it is something as simple as epilepsy. I still haven't figured out how to be two places at once so a Hospice volunteer, God bless her, will be arriving at the out patient infusion center at 9:00 am to supervise day three of the boy's infusion. I fear for the hospice volunteer who told me she is a retired elementary school guidance counsellor who gets along well with children and has packed some, "little books" for my boy. I hope those little books have the answers to questions such as, "What are intestines?'' ..."What are butterfly wings made of?"... "If God knows when you are going to be born does He also know when He is going to kill you?" ...and my personal favorite from today as I sat blowing coffee snot out of my nose, "How many pounds of dry wall does it take to crush your liver?" God, help her.